Now I Finally See

I’ve always wondered why I never have any luck in love, I listen to what girls say they want in a guy and I try my best to be that person they want but somehow, it never seems to work for me.

I finally realise why, I’m just not the type that girls see and want, I have had girlfriends in the past because on paper I seemed like the perfect guy.

Kind, caring, compassionate, loving, loyal and emotional.

But in person, I look like a kid, I’m small enough to pass for a teenager and my face dosent make me look any older either.

I’m not built or very attractive so I never catch anyone’s eye, I’m not the kinda guy girls want on their arm or look at and say, yes omg I want him! I am not the type girls look at and say, I wana see myself standing next to him saying I do, I’m not the type they want to be the dad to their child.

I am a good dad and they would like their partner or future partner to be “like me” just not “me personally” .

I’m the perfect friend, I have all the trates that a girl wants, but my image and appearance fails me, I don’t get the chance to be their special one because all they see is me on the outside and it’s not something they want or would want to keep.

It’s happened to me loads in the past, my ex girlfriends have cheated on me with other guys, or left me for other guys or simple said, we dont match and they don’t wana be with me, or left me without any reason.

I’ve always asked, what is it I did wrong and most of the answers I get are the same. “you did nothing wrong” – “its me not you” I’ve been dumped in the past and my ex told me she just needs to be alone by herself and two months later was with someone else. (alone right?)

One left and for another guy but the whole time she was with me said I was the most amazing guy she’d ever met. (if I’m amazing then why leave me for him?)

The fact is I’m just not the type of person that a girl wants to be with, I’m boring, I’m too safe, im not confident, I’m shy, I look young and there is so many better looking guys out there.

This isn’t a stab at my exes, it’s a stab at me, they couldn’t help not wanting me, it’s not choice, you don’t choose to want someone, you either want them and try anything to be with them, or you don’t and you split up, or don’t say yes in the first place.

I’m just going to focus on being a dad to Elise, thats one thing I know I am good at, I have my family so I’ll be OK, I want someone to love me and be with me but it’s just never going to happen, they deserve better anyway, if I was worth it, they’d still be with me, I didnt cheat or treat them badly I was just me and it wasn’t enough to keep them.

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