Probably the second worst day of my life

Probably the second worst day of my life

A few days ago i got the final results from the court case with KayCee outlining the decision made by the social services. It explained that the Local Authorities have decided that KayCee should remain in the care of her mother and step father under a 12 month supervision order which would mean that the Local Authority remain involved to assist the family and ensure that meaningful change is sustained. – In their own words.

They came to me over a year and a half ago urgently seeking to assesses me to care for KayCee. The letter and report indicated that KayCee was in immediate danger from physical and emotional harm and could I be assessed to care for her. The report went on to list over 50 different concerns including violence, criminal behavior, threatening and intimidating behavior, controlling and manipulative behavior, refusal to comply with or engage with social services, medial professionals and teachers regarding concerns to KayCee.

That was just with the parents, it went on to state that KayCee was trapped in her room most of the time with very little to no person belonging of her own, no toys or things to confront her like teddys etc. She was starved to the point where she didn’t gain weight for years. She was seen multiple times being dragged about by her arm. She was left outside on a hot day with no water. Seen crying at her window when she couldn’t join in with her brother playing in the garden. That just to skim the surface the list went on and on.

I thought it was serious after reading that report and thought she would be brought to my care within a week or days if it was as bad as they were making out. I assumed they would need to check my background with social services, Elise’s school and medial professionals to see if i had anything similar in my history. But no, they wanted to do a complete assessment that would take the better part of a year and a half to complete.

“Immediate Danger” the letter said and this assessment would have taken 36-9 months under normal circumstances, with COVID it took a lot longer. They wanted to know the ins and outs of every aspect of my parenting abilities and how I would cope with random scenarios.

I’m sorry but I have a 100% clean record with social services, never had any issues with caring for Elise, no red flags and I have never had anyone question my ability to care for Elise so this was not only very insulting to go through but most of it was unnecessary I will explain below why it was completely unnecessary.

The social services acted appallingly during this case, I’ll make another post about how they screwed things up later and I received through the post their recommendation that KayCee remain in the place where all these “concerns” were found. They said that the parent have made significant improvements to the way they care for KayCee and now show positive engagement with social services.

That in itsself, makes the entire assessment of me pointless and unnecessary. Why was it important to assesse me and ensure that I am spotless if they were going to recommend that KayCee remain in a place where they found all these concerns in the past? Why put me through that assessment that took over a year to do if they are willing to allow her to stay in them circumstances anyway?

Gives a totally wrong message to every parent out there, you can practically do whatever you want to your kids. As long as you stop and say sorry when assessed then they let you carry on with a supervision order.
On the other hand, they put someone like me through the fence and find nothing wrong with my parenting style or ability to care for Elise but still choose to pick people they know have been terrible in the past?

Can you honestly tell me that this makes any sense to you?

So yeah, when I got the news through regarding the final result, I was really not in a good place. It felt almost as bad as the day I first realized that she wouldn’t be part of my life anymore and I have to live with that pain again now. On the same day the girl I was seeing has asked that we just be friends and that shes really not interested in a relationship and that she wouldn’t be able to meet me on the weekend. No wait, before you think badly of her stop. She didn’t know that I had received this news, I told her later that night and she was very supportive.

She realized Howe upset I was over this and she changed her plans and came to see me Sunday morning and gave me the biggest cuddle ever and really lifted my spirits. No she didn’t get back with me and I am glad she didn’t. It would have been out of pity and I think she has more respect for me than to do that.

Out of all my friends and family that know about what I am going through, she is the only one who actually took time out of her day and came round to check up on me. I am still glad I met her and think she’ll be an amazing friend to me.

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